the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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