I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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