I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
