An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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