Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
