We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
