Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
