I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
