Say something about gay babies.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
