How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
how does that bad decision feel?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
