Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You are a genius and a whore.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
