So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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