How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
