yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
sex in a hospital.. check
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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