is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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