part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
