Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
