He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
