in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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