I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
