Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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