my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
