Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
