we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
