just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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