Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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