If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The adults are the big ones right?
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