Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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