Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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