so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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