roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
