i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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