I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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