Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
