Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize