just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
