i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
