for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize