You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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