I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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