If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
