I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We named our party play list daddy issues
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
