Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
