His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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