sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
