His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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