How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
