"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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