Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
