Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
