i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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