so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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